Here are some things you should totally do. I know what I'm talking about. I'm definitely a reliable source. I give quality advice. I... I'm protesting too much.
1. Bake blueberry, almond & buckwheat muffins. They're vegan! And gluten-free! And delicious! Even if you aren't vegan or gluten-free! And I spent a lot of time getting this recipe right, so damned if you aren't going to eat them and enjoy them, doyouhearme? You should have a muffin for breakfast tomorrow. I'm going to have a muffin for breakfast. We could be muffin buddies. That sounds like a euphemism... I didn't mean it that way.
2. Read Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro. I finished it at 2.30am last night and then cried for half an hour. Clearly I got a great night's sleep. You don't have to go quite that far.
3. Write two blog posts in a row with numbered lists, apparently. Um. It's cool. If I point it out before anyone else can, it's okay, yeah?
4. Make someone smile. I made homemade oreos this evening for the people in my mum's office, cause they're all under terrible stress and having breakdowns left right and centre, reportedly. I made them cupcakes last week, and apparently someone was so touched they cried. Either that or they were just really terrible cupcakes.
I'm not so good at this. Here are some things you shouldn't do.
1. Bake vegan and gluten-free brownies. They just aren't going to work. Give it up. If I had to describe the texture in one word it would be 'tacky', and I don't mean the good kind of tacky. Is there a good kind of tacky?
2. Commit crimes. Forging letters is a crime. Not like murder, but still. Don't do it. Unless you're desperate. The real one will almost definitely get there in time, even if it's in the very last post and you're hyperventilating and thinking your life's going to end. Seriously. Life'll work it out.
3. Write songs with the word 'Pikachu' in. I can explain. A long time ago my friends and I had the semi-joking idea of writing a Pokemon musical, except after a while of semi-joking about it I was like '...shit, I've actually written three songs, how did this happen?'. I came across some of them the other day. I really want to finish them. Is this wrong? Or is it so wrong it's right?
And then I recorded a one-woman multi-part a cappella cover of the Pokemon bike song from the Game Boy game.
...Not really kidding.
I shouldn't be allowed out of the house.
4. Write two blog posts in a row with numbered lists. It isn't cool. I'm sorry. Have a muffin.
Blueberry, Almond & Buckwheat Muffins (Gluten Free)
makes about 8, but mine were pretty big
120g (1c.) ground almonds (almond flour)
100g (2/3c.) buckwheat flour
20g (1/4c.) ground flax
1 1/2 tsp bicarbonate of soda (baking soda)
50g (1/3c.) brown sugar
zest of 1 lemon
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla
1 Tbsp cider vinegar
60ml (1/4c.) melted coconut oil
120ml (1/2c.) soya yoghurt
180ml (3/4c.) blueberries
Oven to 180C
In a medium bowl combine the almond flour, buckwheat flour, ground flax, brown sugar, bicarb and salt. In a separate, small bowl combine the wet ingredients: vanilla, vinegar, oil and yoghurt. Make a well in the flour mixture and pour in the wet, stirring until combined but not over-beaten. Gently fold in the blueberries.
Spoon into lined muffin tins; about 3/4 full, but my liners were awesome wrap ones so they were a little bigger than standard, so judge for yourself. Bake for about 20 minutes or until a toothpick comes out virtually crumb free.
I clearly need advice for life. What's the best thing you've eaten, made, read or done this week? And what should I absolutely definitely not do?